I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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