I can tuck mytits in my pants
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
