we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
