How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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