so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
