I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
