so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize