I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Found your dick twin last night
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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