Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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