She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
