My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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