just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
