My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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