my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
