I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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