He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
