Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
