ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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