Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
