Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
