Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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