Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
