forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
