Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
