hotel room ftw
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
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You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire