even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.