do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.