Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
