It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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