I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The power of my boobs compel you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
