Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
