I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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