they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize