i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
