I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
