She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
