having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
