Already got asked if we're dating
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
me + whiskey = a bad person
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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