i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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