Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
