How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
