Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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