i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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