I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
