I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
