my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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