She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
