And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
