If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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