I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize