Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
bring money and cleavage
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
