Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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