I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
