Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My dick has a subreddit
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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