How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
