Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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