Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
