I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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